The Beauty of Selfishness

The Beauty of Selfishness

If you search for the word ‘selfish’ in a thesaurus, it’s likely that you’ll find plenty of words with negative connotations: ‘egotistic’, ‘greedy’, ‘narcissistic’, ‘self-centered’ and even just simply, ‘mean’. It’s also likely that at some point throughout your childhood or teenage years, a parent, friend or foe has accused you of being ‘selfish’ during an argument, perhaps because you refused to share your headphones, didn’t offer your help to carry something or ate the last chocolate dessert from the fridge. All in all, it’s rather difficult not to conflate selfishness with other negative personality traits such as dishonesty and impulsiveness.

However, if we strip selfishness down to its most basic meaning, is it really that negative? If selfishness is truly just sparing some time and energy for your own physical and mental wellbeing, then is it truly such an awful trait to display?

Think about your friendship group, for example. We probably all have that one friend that finds time to support every last person in their life through all their trials and tribulations. They’re usually known as the ‘mum’ or the ‘big sister’ of the group, they’re often the first person you think of messaging when you need advice, and they probably always reply instantly. You may have noticed, however, that whilst this friend seems to have endless time to help others, they leave very little time for themselves. In the end, their lack of selfishness and wealth of generosity can often lead to a burnout.

This is because finding a moderate balance of selfishness is paramount when it comes to maintaining your own happiness. Whilst, like any human quality, it isn’t good to show selfishness in abundance, it’s vital to consider yourself – and your own emotions – as much as you do others.

Here are just some of the reasons you should try to be more selfish:

1. It helps to build your independence. For as long as you allow others to constantly depend upon you, you help to convince your own mind that no decision can be made alone. Showing selfishness will, therefore, help you to gain more independence, reinforcing the fact that you are your own greatest support, power and protector.

2. You’re less likely to blame others when things go wrong. Life is constantly taking twists and turns we don’t expect, and at times, it’s difficult not to feel wronged by the universe. However, if you’ve displayed an element of selfishness, it’s much easier to evaluate your own role in any mishaps, take responsibility and ultimately, learn from them.

3. It will help you get the best out of your choices. Maybe you’re attempting to choose between different career paths, where you might like to live or whether a certain person is somebody you would want to have as a part of your life. Being selfish in such decisions is essential, as it’s only you who will be forced to live with the consequences of a bad decision.

4. Finally, it will allow you to be more selfless. Sounds like quite the paradox, doesn’t it? But considering your own needs first is an integral part of building up your self-worth, confidence, and mental well-being. This, in turn, will allow you to expend more time and energy helping those around you.

So, if you’re the type of person that believes they must consider everyone else’s happiness before thinking of their own, remember: selfishness isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, if there’s anything this last year has taught us, it’s that perhaps we all need to be a little more selfish sometimes.