This will be my year!

This will be my year!

How many times have we all said this? Every January we are told it is the perfect time to change ourselves, change our habits, be better, improve etc. The new year offers a new start, or a starting point and I am all for that. However, it should not fuel anxiety or make anyone feel pressured, and it does not need to end in burnout or feelings of failure. It is good to have goals. Goals give us direction but focusing on the goal does not achieve the goal. Sound confusing? Let me give you an example.

Once upon a time I was a very untidy person. I was stressed all the time because I was surrounded by chaos. No matter how many times I tidied up I would eventually end up surrounded by mess again. Finally, I had enough. This constant mess was disrupting my life, my productivity, and my mental health. After much thought I realised that habits are just motions repeated until they become second nature. I had a system of second nature habits that resulted in untidiness; so surely, I could create a system of second nature habits that would lead to a tidy environment.

I thought what if I organised my space one last time, but this time rather than just put everything away, I would create a specific place for each item so I would know exactly where to find it. So, almost like a mantra, I created one simple rule...

A place for everything, and everything in its place

I had to follow that one small rule, no excuses. It takes just as much energy to put something in the wrong place as it does to put it in the right place, but by putting it in the right place I save time because I know exactly where to find it when I need it.

One day I realised that this little rule I had set for myself had become second nature because I was no longer finding myself surrounded by mess. My goal of tidiness was achieved by default because of abiding to that one small sustainable rule. The rule not only allowed me to become tidier but also helped my productivity, time management and most of all my mental health.

When January comes, focusing on the goal of reading more, getting fit, learning a language, or eating healthier is not going to be achieved by going all in and focusing on the goal. You might achieve the “goal” of eating healthier for one or multiple meals if you put all your energy into it at once, or you might read one book if you concentrate on nothing else but reading for days… but is that sustainable? Will that help you make long-term changes and achieve your goal long term? Are we unknowingly setting ourselves up for failure every time we focus on the goal and ignore the habits that got us there like I did? Now that we can see the evidence of what can be achieved by one tiny rule, we can implement similar habit changing rules with confidence in all areas of our lives.

We need to be patient and confident in the fact that tiny sustainable changes every day will become second nature and they will ultimately allow us to achieve our goals, even if it seems like nothing is changing and we can only see the progress in hindsight. No pressure, no stress, no big commitment, or huge energy bursts that will burn out after a short time. To others it will look like an overnight success, but it is the tiny sustainable habits you instil every day that accumulate until one day you realise you have met your goal.